First snow.

I'm at mom's place with the doggies.
That means we're in a pretty small house with two big dogs and four cats.
Haa. I love it.

Today me and Malin went with a friend to the horse she's taking care of.

She kept walking and licking the snow at the same time, it was hilarious.

walkie walkie walkie.

It was the first time Nellie met a horse so upclose! We've walked by horses and such before but she's never been so near one, haha. She was a bit suspicious at first but we just ignored her so it worked out really well. Lizzy is pretty used to them so. She listens to her big sister. xD after just a few minutes of walking they were completely fine. 

now I'm tiiireeed. We walked for about... three hours maybe? The dogs are knocked out cold now anyways, they have been sleeping the last two hours haha :3

Tuesday night, no one cares.

Mew.





Work was slow today.
but it's okay.

I'm alone in our basement right now
with headsets on! I usually is scared to the marrow if I do that.. but now my desperate need for despa is taking over.

It's already been five months since they disbanded.
one year since his surgery.
one and a half year since he came out and said he was ill.

I would give up my voice for him.

I would give it to him if I could.

I would.

I can't even imagine to have something that important to you being taken away so abruptly. Hizumi..


I have my life as it is today to thank them for. They really have changed my life.

I love you guys.

LONG LIVE JROCK!

After a lovely day at work and a few lovely hours training with doggies I got home and there was a package waiting for me. <3

One white and one red. 

from lovely Edoh at edohsama.blogspot.com

I'm so happy~

goodnight.

Heartless

I miss you.

Marriage drama!!

Satsuki totally made my evening XD

haha, so cute. xDD

It's such a coincidence because I listened to this on repeat on the way home. <3 and it's been ages since I listened to him. 

it's so beautiful <3  

I love saying his name.
Satsuki
Satsuki
Satsuki

It's a beautiful name.


THE BEAUTIFUL NAME XD aahahah /inside jokes with myself

/forever alone

Haha, naaah~~

this song always gives me goosebumps on lives.

Shou is so freaking amazing.

DEPAIN

I'm still stunned by their new pv.

If they continue and stay strong together they will get big, I'm sure of it.
I was sure since I first heard them, even more sure after seeing them live.
They are awesome.. really awesome.

The chorus blows my mind away~

Now I'm listening to screw.. I love screw.

I love music.

I'm a retard. O.O

A year. It goes by so slowly.. yet so incredibly fast.

I can not, no matter what, get my head around that it has already been a year since Vistlip's accident.

I can't believe it. Maybe because the six months after was the longest six months in my life.. and after they came back time has just.. went by like water in a furious river. I don't know.

I just don't get it. A year. It sounds like such a long time. It is..
and at the same time it's not at all.

Time is such a weird thing.

Rest in peace dear Asako Sakakibara.
I'm sure you know, but your boys are doing good.

Tomo, Rui, Tohya, Yuh and Umi.

あ～
い～
し～
て～
る～

あいしてる。

ありがとうね～

がんばってください！

Calm life in the forest.

It's been a very long while since I enjoyed being out here as much as I do right now.
I dunno why, maybe because I've been sick for a while and I've been able to relax.
And Nellie is here with me, that is also a big bonus.

She's so much fun, seriously. <3 I'll try to take some pictures tomorrow.


We've sent in all our papers to the school in Japan for a final check so that everything is right, by mail that is. In August we'll send them for real, then it will be an horrible three months of waiting. I just want all the paperwork done, it's so consuming for some reason, to have it hanging like this.


Umm.

Tomorrow I'll go back to Malmö to go to the Thursday course with Lizzy-chan. It's been like three weeks now, blah. She needs blow off steam xD big problem ahead: I was at the club this Sunday and the river that floats by the training grounds was overflown, creating a HUGE lake-like mass of water all over the grass field. What seemed like hundreds of birds were around, and..... well.. Lizzy loves water. And birds. That's what she's bred for after all. Well, I just hope she likes me and candy more. Maybe. Not. Haha, we'll see.

Finishing with some candy.

9GOATS BLACKOUT got a new look. <3 

Uta reminds me of someone so bad, but I can't figure it out.. 

Rest in peace Isshi

Freedom, for freedom
anyone is bound by the word
Society lets us be out of order
Freedom, for freedom 
There is neither the hatred nor the sorrow there

I'm in shock once again. When I read it I was like.. not that Isshi, right?
but... yes.

I've never listened much to Kagrra's music, but they have always been there. I've always had great respect for them and... they have always been there. I remember as if it was yesterday we watched PSC Carnival 2005 and were impressed by their grand performance. I'm really in shock.



Rest in peace dear Isshi. You were way to young to go.

phase faith

When I see the word Faith I always hear Reita say it in my head, with his really bad engrish.. "Miss Faith." oohohoo, points to whoever knows what I'm talking bout.

Anyway, its a band called Phase Faith. They have been giving me petas all the time as long as I can remember of my ameba-time xD and for some reason they have never interested me that much, but then I saw this and fell in love x3

and then I stalked their stuff on youtube like they've been stalking me for years XD

I mean, they are still a very small band and all that, but I see great potential in them. Faito! <3

I'm in the couch with one dog on each side.. xD they're adorable. When I was walking them earlier I met our neighbor with her son, he's about two years maybe. He think dogs are pretty scary.. they're so big and all and  he's not that used to dogs, but I told Lizzy to lie down so she wouldn't be as big and suddenly she became much more interesting xD I had to keep Nellie away though, she just wanted to go up to him and give him kisses xD What surprised me then, was that Nellie also laid down and calmed down really quickly, on her own. I didn't say anything! I have no idea if that was a coincidence or if she read the situation that well. O: or maybe she was just too lazy to stand up.. lol. Too cute anyway.

Happy day~

It's been a good day (:
Calm, slow and.. calm.
Now before working the remaining of the week, but I look forward. :D very much so.



MusicJapanPlus wrote about Alice Nine's Spring Circuit [Prelude to "GEMINI"] 2011/4/25 Akasaka BLITZ

"Good evening! We're Alice Nine!" Shou greeted the audience during the night's first MC. "I remember when we celebrated our fifth anniversary here in Akasaka BLITZ... and now we're soon going on to 7 years!" he reminisced briefly, seemingly surprised by how quickly timed had passed. "Will you follow us till the end? Are you ready for more?" he then shouted, the crowd of course responding with enthusiastic cheers.
:3
 Much to everyone's surprise, Alice Nine performed "GEMINI", a daring, thirteen minutes-long track divided in three distinct movements which all seem to run together fluidly. Though it was the very first time this song was performed in front of an audience, the fans seemed to react naturally to the music by swaying their bodies and waving their hands. As the song came to an end, someone in the audience shouted "Awesome!" and the whole venue burst into raucous cheers


They talked about that on the next niconico after that live XD Saga was like "idiot, who wrote such a long song *A*" and the others were like ".... it was you." hahaha~ Saga is a goofball. <3

Then Nao told the fans that his father was attending today's concert but he refused to tell them where he was sitting. "Ah! Over there!" he teased as he pointed a finger toward the back, causing the fans to turn around and look curiously. "Fools! Made you look!" When a man on the second floor waved his hand at the audience below, Nao jumped to his feet and shook his head frantically, "Liar! You're not my dad!" he laughed. "You don't look like me!"
XDD

At this point the live had been going on for nearly three hour, but both the fans and the band's energy seemed to be undying.


Shou dedicated the next song, "4U" to Alice Nine's fans, and toward the end of the song, he asked everyone to let their voices "be as one" as they sang in perfect unison. "Last song!" Shou warned, the soft melody of "the beautiful name" enveloping the entire venue. In the end, it truly felt as if the audience and the members truly made one as they sang loudly together for a last time. 
<33

I'm almost dying when I'm reading this. The memory of me standing just a few meters from them, seeing them, being there with them... it warms my heart. I know I will see them again, and it makes me so happy.

Be as one~

Happy birthday Shou~

Happy birthday! ♪～♪～

your words and your smiles mean the world to me.

..More than just that, isn’t it important to protect the place where those who are going through hard times will return to?

I think there are many different feelings.

But, I believe that each and every one of those emotions can be linked through Alice Nine, through our music.

I’ve gotten serious again, but anyway, I want to see everyone’s smiling faces again soon.

That’s all I had to say.

By playing unrelated recent songs, we wondered what exactly is Alice Nine? What do we ought to be as Alice Nine?

I think it was a tour that allowed all the members -including me- to find the answers to these questions by ourselves.

The tour isn’t over yet, and I could only find answers pertaining to me personally,

but until I encountered music, it only seemed as though my every day life was gray, boring,

but when I encountered with this scene’s music,  my values, my dreams, everything changed.

I want to give back to this scene, so I want to do everything for the sake of those who’re linked to us.

They’re not just pretty words, it’s a real feeling.

It’s something I ought to do with Alice Nine, as I’m a human who is doing music for this sake.

The people I encountered throught Alice Nine…

I was able to revalidate that I can continue writing lyrics and songs that will become “something” -even if only a little- for those who have been touched by our lives and music.

You probably hear this a lot, but  I realized, I grasped that this is where the part that’s my core is.

“Stargazer:” spells out this unblurred emotions, it’s about my current state of mind.

There might be people who will give it a quick listen and feel as if it’s a meaningless pop song,

but personally, I think it’s a rock anthem which contains our passion, a peaceful heat like a pale blue flame.

It seems that the PV’s preview is out, and I’ll be happy if even just one person will be touched by it ヽ(´ω｀)ノ Hm

Next year’s Budoukan doesn’t feel like a compilation or a  commemoration, and of course it’s not a banal show like “we tried to do it” either…

With those who have supported us until now as well as those who will in the future, the same old Alice Nine will fight until our spirits are linked together.

Please be sure to bring all your friends.

But, before this!

After tomorrow at ZEPP Sendai, our last one-man live for this year. We’ll be burning back to ashes, so that’s at your own discretion as well! I’ll do my best.

From dear-numbers

\（^ o ^ ）/

I  love you~

sleepless with la;cen-zhow

craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash



To me, it's a masterpiece...
because it's soo ugly and messy. in a beautiful way.
I love it. I love it soo much.

I love Sutari's hair.. haha

I miss bands like this one.. come out come out wherever you are~

Virgenow is a band I've had both eyes on from the beginning.. because they remind me so much about lacenzhow.. ha.

<3

argh, once I start browsing around the small bands on youtube I get so sad nowadays.. everyone I like are slowly disappearing..

sorrow made you

sorrow made you


sorrow made you


sorrow made you


in the bottom of the dark dead sea


sorrow made you


sorrow made you


sorrow made you


in the maze without end


why do you still breathe?

Tuesday afternoon, no one cares.

With Alice Nine in the speakers :3




Today's shou ♡

talking about their new single last year~

I think everyone alternates between feeling like “I can do it!” and “It’s impossible!” while working toward a goal of a dream.

But then I also think,
if you can’t even believe in yourself, then who’s going to believe in you?
Since I realized the importance of making efforts to believe in yourself,

I think I became able to face these songs too without losing focus.

By all means, please let your hearts be touched.

This is one of the things he have said that really stuck in my head.
and I don't know how many times a part of me wanted to give up, 
then I hear him say that in my head and I keep going.   

To those who even care, I will make it.

It's a sad day. It's the end, the end of the time of d'espairsray.

I'm in shock.


With their Yokohama performance last year on December 30th at Yokohama BLITZ D'espairsRay had been going on a break to support the healing of vocalist HIZUMI's throat condition.

As of today, June 15th 2011, D'espairsRay have announced their immediate disbanding which has become the final result of talks between staff and members and been announced on the official homepage.
From MJP+

To cure my throat during hiatus, I had tried all sorts of treatments such as medical care,

acupuncture, physical therapy, Qigong etc.

However, under a situation where there is no good prospect for recovering, we had much discussion and

we came up with the conclusion that we'd rather disband than we fade out without any activities.

Please forgive us for betraying the expectations of our fans looking forward to our comeback.

Unfortunately, it's not possible to do final performance, but we would like to show our gratitude

to you by different ways.

Though I've met lots of people and experienced good and bad things after we formed this band,

there is no useless experience.

I thank all our fans who have loved us for 11 years.

HIZUMI

The dream of D'espairsRay we drew has to be given up halfway through.

I am so sorry for the sudden announcement to everyone who has believed we would return.

In this situation that it's unable to do a final gig, please understand to end like this

without telling our feelings to you.

I'm proud of the bond between you and D'espairsRay which will never change.

I'll go on to fill the empty space in my heart little by little and to meet you again with a smile.

To all our fans who have loved us, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Karyu

I'm so sorry for the sudden announcement.

Thinking back now, I promised everyone that we would come back in the bus during fan club trip before hiatus.

In the interviews and various writings, I also promised we would meet again.

So sorry we couldn't keep our promise, everyone.

However, this is a positive decision that all 4 members of D'espairsRay took after deep consideration,

so I ask for your kind understandings.

Now the situation still remains the same before hiatus, so we would disband without final tour or final gig.

As a result, there might be some discussion about whether it is good or bad not to do final gig,

but we judged it was impossible to do it with the best quality of our music which we had made as D'espairsRay

for ten years with all of you, so we decided to bring an end without any concerts.

Personally, I haven't painted a vision of the future yet, but I'll keep facing forward and look back a little bit.

Thinking of the days in which I can see your smile, I'll think what I can do myself from now on.

To the most passionate staffs who have supported us all the time,

To all the best "MANIA" who have always believed and loved us,

Thank you so much.

ZERO

After the announcement of hiatus, I think both every MANIA"and we might spend every day awaiting our comeback.

However, I'm afraid we came to this definitive conclusion.

I'm so sorry to everyone waiting for our returning.

Although we'd continued our musical activities together for over ten years pointing in the same direction,

the feeling is beyond words to bring an end for both ourselves and every "MANIA".

Because it's our treasure for a lifetime.

As you know, I apologize you it's unable to do a final concert because of such circumstances.

D'espairsRay will stay the best band in the world which will be long remembered by everybody even if it disbands.

Feeling proud that I had played as a drummer of this band and also proud of our "MANIA",

I'll spend the rest of my life. I'll live with a positive attitude.

Also all 4 members of D'espairsRay are going to stay the same as before, having a party and celebrating our birthday,

so don't worry!!

It's often said that the reason for disbanding might be due to discord, but it's NOT!

I would like to thank all the "MANIA" and all the people who have followed and supported us.

TSUKASA

From their blog



Hizumi... T__T
He's not getting better.

It must be the worst ever.
I feel so bad for him..

I wrote this in september when they came out and said he was ill.

You.. got to be freaking kidding me.

Stupid, stupid, stuuuuupid japanese people.. I'm going crazy!

D'espairsRay just started their four month long world tour and NOW they're saying Hizumi is sick and they will take a break in order for him to get the proper treatment. 

After the tour. Of course. What the hell!!!

He's been sick for over a year.

Just like Jui. It doesn't sound as serious.. but still.

Argh, you make me cry.
Ther're putting themselves through so much..
HIZUMI BAKA!!!!Get well soon.




I... I don't even know what to say. 


They are one of the first bands that drew me into j-rock in the first place.


They have always been there. 


I'm so grateful for all the music they made. 


I'm so grateful for all the times they've cheered me up. 




Thank you. 
T___T

Nostalgia

I wonder why I feel so nostalgic lately..

Probably the summertime.. it does that to me. argh

Alice Nine's first pv.
Aaahhhrgh I mean.
Is it really possible for a songs to be so emotional or is it in one's head?
I already know the answer.. but still. I wonder.
If I could I would erase my memories and start to listen to the music I like today all over again and see how it felt. Although I remember exactly how it felt when we first started listening to it.. it's just so much more emotional now.

Hime Ichigo is a band that persistently hangs on to my brain nowadays.
Humhum. I miss them alot. Suzuyaa!
Cozy cozy Suzuya.
He still hangs around Ameba though.. I'm really happy for that. ^-^

♡